A Wren Says

I needed to focus. I simply could not do that at home, so I headed to campus, intent on working in the department building. But as I walked up there, something in me said, “No, keep walking.” But figuring that was a rogue thought, I continued on my chosen path. And again, it came, “You shouldn’t go in today.” It was clearly just the strange manifestations of my anxiety, just making things up randomly. I ignored it and trudged on.

And then I got to the door, turned the key, and saw them. It was an entire synchronized swimming team doing the dry land version of their routine. As they looked up at me, I imagine I did a horrible job hiding my shock. There would be no way I could focus or even sit in there. Sheepishly, I pulled the door back closed and kept walking to find another place to study.

I had to laugh. Something in me had told me not to go there, but I ignored it. What was that voice?

I wish I could say that I learned to full heartedly trust that still small voice inside, but I haven’t. I continuously ignore it. And to be honest, I don’t know what I’ve missed out on as a result. What opportunities have I lost because I chose not to trust? How far could I have gone in life if I had just listened to my heart, instead muffling its cries?

In this moment, with that memory fresh in my mind, I’m going to listen deeply. What is it that my intuition is telling me? What path is it calling me towards, even in the midst of this uncertainty? And how can I choose to skip those doors I want to believe are right for me to open those that will lead me to my truest calling?

What’s a time you ignored your gut — and paid for it?

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