A Wren Says

Thank you for taking the first step and reading this post. You are probably here because you have been asking that question, over and over again: Is my boss evil?  And you’ve answered it, “Yes,” multiple times. I mean, you’ve got evidence from your overbearing workload, the snide remarks, the ways you’ve been treated, and more. It’s all in your journals and perhaps even in HR’s files by now. But I need you to bring it in. Take a seat.

Your boss is not evil.

Stay a while, and pay attention. I did not say that your boss is not creating a hostile work environment, or is not giving you too much work and not enough credit, or even that he’s not actively trying to destroy to free world. Your boss could very well be doing bad things. You could very well need to leave this job and/or report something to the authorities. But even then, that person is very likely not actually evil incarnate.

Your boss, I assume, is human. And, that goes without saying, also complex. You labeling your boss as evil is oversimplifying things, and that is not in your favor.

I am writing this as someone who has had to scale back the extreme labels on people because it with them, got in my way of seeing things more clearly. My boss, colleague, family member, and even archnemesis are juggling multiple motivations. They are making decisions for particular reasons. They do good things, even though they also do hurtful things. In the midst of totally frustrating interactions there is something for me to learn, even if the lessons are about who I am and want to be. Putting an all-encompassing label on them shifts how I view those people. I show up differently. I have different responses. I can’t get those lessons when I’ve completely written the other off as completely evil. I also can’t find the best solution to change my situation when I have already flippantly determined the cause.

Not calling your boss “evil” is not about justifying their behavior. You can you set boundaries for what you will and will not put up with but still see the full picture.  This about you allowing yourself all the information you need to live your life the way you want.

What is it that you don’t like about your boss and your working environment more generally? What are the clear issues that need to be addressed? How can you look deeper than just “evil” and other labels look towards specific behaviors?