Years ago, I needed to know how to deal with toddler tantrums. I was at my wit’s end but knew there was some information somewhere out there in the world that would help me. I learned that it was just part of the child’s development, something you get through calmly, and not necessarily an indication that you just need to try harder. And then I continued searching for more articles and came across another suggestion: How do I deal with my boss’s tantrums?
The advice was magically the same.
Even grown adults engage in disruptive behavior that is driven by how they’re dealing with their own emotions. And just the same, it’s not about you.
Adults are essentially just grown-up kids, throwing tantrums that have nothing to do with you. It could be that they’re hungry. It could be that they’re tired. It could be that they’re cranky. It could be that they just don’t know how to process their emotions (or the past trauma they’ve been pushing down and not dealing with). At the end of the day, how they choose to respond also has nothing to do with you.
I’ve learned to easily and calmly sit with a screaming child who just actually needs a nap but can’t say that. It’s time to learn to deal as calmly with the adults who are screaming and making a fuss just the same.
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