I spent today, waking up early to get an answer sent to a colleague, bouncing around between meetings, into a packed evening. With barely a procrastinating YouTube video watched, I was busy all day. But even as focused as I remained all day, I couldn’t help to think that I was still too far from my goals. Maybe the effort still wasn’t enough. Was I really productive? Was I really moving towards my desired end?
My fear as I try to “lock in” and get serious about pursuing my goals is that it still won’t be enough. What if even when I actually use my time well, I still don’t have the hours it takes to do it all? When I look back on my days and the work I put in, will I ever be truly satisfied with the effort? Will I ever get to a point, looking at all that I’ve done and be satisfied with the attempt?
I wish I knew how to let go of desired outcomes, assumed rewards at the end of the journey and instead find the treasure in each day. How do I find joy in the pursuit? How do I see each work session, each item checked off, and each step in the right direction as the thing I want to celebrate? How do release the anxiety around reaching some end point and instead take on the satisfaction in each moment along the way? They say it’s really about the journey, but how do you make that true?
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A Wren Says 
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