A Wren Says

I was in the gym yesterday and came in to contact with one of my biggest fears: There were multiple people with their cameras propped up on tripods and filming. Unsuspectingly, I could have just wandered into the background and ended up posted online forever. And then I’d be mocked in the comments as the distractingly odd person. And the conversation would get so bad that people would recognize me, and the situation would forever alter my life.

So of course, I did my best to do some quick geometry and calculate angles and figure out where I would need to be positioned based on where the lens was pointed. Which means of course, I needed to spend my time focusing on what someone else was doing and could possibly say instead of what I really wanted. And that is not how I want to spend my time.

My resolution for this year is to disappoint more people, or rather get comfortable with taking actions that other people might not like. This fear I have of surveillance, of being seen and the resulting opinions that come from that, mostly affects me not the other person. Even though in 2025, my fear is based in a very possible situation, I can’t live my life driven by it.

I can’t control other people’s thoughts and opinions, no matter how hard I try and certainly no matter how desperately I want to. That extends to recognizing that I can’t control what people will say online. I have to learn, that regardless of what may be written or said, to not give power to those words or reactions. I have claim for myself the honor of the final opinion.

I may never fully get over my fear of being seen, but I can’t let it hold me back from becoming who I truly want to be.