It was a mindset shift.
I walked into the kitchen to use the microwave. “Why can’t I keep this thing clean?” Just as quickly I got hit with a reframe, “Why haven’t I done it?”
It is a simple idea. There is a difference between can and have. Can is related to ability. By asking why I can’t do something I question my ability to do it at all. Maybe it just something I’m not capable of. But have shifts the conversation to circumstances. It is more active linking to the actions, calling me to look at the circumstances surrounding me.
“Have” places me into problem solving mode, “can” invites me to a pity party.
Instead, getting exasperated and asking myself why can’t do things, I will ask it in a new way:
Why haven’t I done it?
What do I need to get this done?
What will help me become successful at this task?
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