A Wren Says

Euro Cup 2008: I was glued to the screen Turkey was behind but making a valiant effort. I left the room, they score. The game is close. I decide to leave the room, this time on purpose, they score again. They win. Next game, another nail biter, Turkey is behind yet , so I cover my face and try to not watch the TV. They score in a crazy fashion and come back to win the game very near to the end whistle. This happens for multiple games until they finally lose and exit the tournament.

I convinced myself that was indeed me not watching the game that powered them for so long. (Even though I definitely did that for their final game.) I continue to use this tactic to support other teams. Is any team I care about behind? Look away from the screen. Matter of fact, turn the TV off so they can score. Somehow, I have power in the situation, possibly through the butterfly effect, to change the outcome of the game. Somehow, from miles away, I have a ridiculous amount of influence over the events of total strangers. What’s crazy is I don’t think I have that much power over my life. Or at least I don’t act with the same conviction.

When I am behind, it is so much easier for me to give up. I don’t put in action, any action, even those that seem ridiculous. I instead wonder why it should bother. From this vantage point, this makes very little sense. If there is any set of circumstances under my control it should be my own.

Just like my superstitious behavior as a fan doesn’t work all the time, I have to recognize that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, things don’t always work out the way I want. But just like I approach those games, I have to keep trying, anything I can, so that I can get to my goal. I gotta be my own crazy fan.