A Wren Says

I haven’t written in over a week. I had the idea to make a post on July 4, highlighting an American brand. But as you will see, it is not there. Why? Good question, and it is one that I am asking myself. I was interested in doing a deep dive into the topic but chose not to. I can make all sorts of excuses about lacking the resources I thought I needed or list the obligations that got in the way. At the end of the day, they are all still excuses, reasons why I chose not to act on the thing I wanted. Why did I not choose to do the thing that I wanted to do? Why didn’t I arrange my schedule, my energy, my time to get it done? I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t think it would matter enough.

I have been thinking a lot about this idea of mattering. I’ve been getting caught up in the idea that certain things don’t matter (possibly myself as well, at times), and that has directed my choices. Maybe you have felt that before. Perhaps, you have wanted to lose weight but “know” diets don’t work. So why try? Or maybe you hate your job, but you’d “know” never find a better one with your background anyway. Why look? It won’t work anyway, so these actions won’t matter. Or you’ve looked around and chosen to care for the needs of others rather than your own because you believed they mattered more. Why would you tend to yourself? Who are you to get that sort of care?

When I typed those things out, here in my word processor, I got them out of myself and am now able to view them objectively. It seems ridiculous. What? What do you mean it won’t work? How could you possibly know that if you haven’t tried? You haven’t put in nearly enough effort to be able to tell. Try something. And why on earth would you not matter? If you are caring for others, doesn’t that mean in some way that you have to matter?

So here I am reframing. Is it true that it is not worth the effort? Are my dreams and goals really not worth the effort? Does it really not matter? Do I really not matter? The answer seems to be maybe.

I have a choice. I get to choose what matters to me. If I choose to believe and act as if something doesn’t matter, then it doesn’t. But, it is also my choice to believe and act as if it does. And then it does! Even if for only that moment.  I get to choose what things are of importance. I get to imbue them with value and mattering.  This post is my reminder to make that choice.