A Wren Says

I heard something that made me pause.

So what I’m saying is that we should only take feedback and constructive criticism seriously when it comes from someone whose knowledge we respect, specifically on the topic they’re giving us feedback on. And even then, we have to carefully consider whether or not it fits us before we actually accept it as truth and do anything about it.

– TJ Guttormsen in his LinkedIn course “Confidence: How to overcome self-doubt, insecurity, and fears”

We should only care about the opinions of people whose opinions are qualified.

Why do you/I care what people who know nothing about the topic have to think?

I am a reforming people pleaser. I constantly mold myself in order to accommodate other people’s opinions, be they stated or only my imagined responses.

I stopped eating healthfully and avoided applying for jobs, changed my hairstyle and smiled less. I’ve kept my face makeup free, and worn different clothes, and restricted my accent, and put on an accent. The list of all the things I’ve done on the basis of someone else’s opinion could continue and become a blog post on its own.

People will say or think whatever they please. You get to decide what to do with the feedback. You are not required to keep or act on all or any of it. You get to decide what actions you want to take and how you choose to allow it to affect your life.

I have changed too much of who I am and what I do for the thin consolation of maybe, maybe being better liked.

I can’t live like that anymore.