As I laid on the couch, getting on my own case about all the things I have left undone, all the items of my to-do list still not checked, and the disarray of my home, I lamented my laziness. Getting up and walking outside, trying to get myself to do something, it hit me. “You don’t lack discipline. You lack hope.”
That might seem extreme to you. Maybe it seems worse. “No, dear, you aren’t lazy. You’re just hopeless.” Hold on. Hear me out. When I really think about the life that I want to lead –one full of disciplined action— this is what I think of:
- Waking up early and ready to start my tasks
- Eating regular, well-balanced nutrition dense meals
- Drinking the recommended eight glasses of water a day
- Exercising and sticking to a training routine
- Staying focused on work task
- Maintaining a clean and organized home
- Keeping commitments to others and myself
- Being a self-starter
- Budgeting and saving money
This is a life where I continue to work towards something, that being my continuous improvement. And that is precisely my point.
When I don’t keep my commitments, when I choose to eat potato chips for dinner, when I slack in my work, it isn’t that I am just lazy, it is because I don’t believe it matters. To hope is to believe that good things will come. If I don’t believe good things will come of my actions, I can’t stay committed, especially when I’m tired or things are inconvenient. I have to know that the actions that I take will ultimately lead to something better in the end. What looks like my lack of discipline is really just a manifestation of my belief that the actions I should take will not actually get me to the result I desire. Or perhaps that the result I desire isn’t actually possible.
So, I personally am not going to work towards developing discipline per se but instead providing myself signs of hope, little nuggets that progress is happening, and evidence that good things will certainly come my way.
In my next reflection, I will write about what has worked for me in the past and what I will be implementing more of in the future. In the meantime, let me know, how do you think about discipline? Where are you in the pursuit of your goals?
A Wren Says 